Introduction:
Religion and homosexuality. When used together, these words evoke a wide array of emotions and reactions.

Discovering that a family member or friend is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender can pose new questions about you faith and may prompt you to re-evaluate beliefs that you previously took for granted. If a family member or friend has "come out," you may wonder if this discovery will influence your religious beliefs or your relationship with your faith community.

• How will this knowledge affect your faith?
• How will other members of your family or community react to your lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender loved one?
• What does this mean for your day-to-day religious life?
• How will this information affect the religious beliefs of your family?
• How will your religious traditions - weddings, births and coming-of-age ceremonies - be affected?

If you have found yourself asking these or other questions, read on. The following pages highlight the stories of members of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) - families and friends who have faced similar questions and concerns.

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Many PFLAG members have found that our three-part mission of support, education and advocacy provides a map for reflection and action. Many approach the issue of religion and homosexuality by analyzing religious text. They seek to find truth in the Bible, Koran and elsewhere. There are, however, infinite interpretations of any text, and so this publication does not provide another interpretation.

Rather, we offer personal experiences that show how people from a variety of faiths have come to terms with a loved one's sexual orientation. Hearing stories of how others have dealt with issues similar to your own may help you strengthen your relationship with the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender loved ones in our life.

This is only the beginning of our journey. PFLAG can connect you with other people and families that have faced and tackled issues similar to your own. Many religious groups have wrestled with homosexuality and religion and decided to be more welcoming to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

Within most faiths there are many interpretations of religious texts such as the Bible and the Koran on all issues including homosexuality. While every religion has different teachings, almost all religions advocate love and compassion, and emphasize the importance of the family structure. Your family member or friend came to you out of trust and love. Even if you discovered this information in another way, remember that he or she is the same person that you have always loved.

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Exploring your faith
You have decided to examine your faith and your feelings for a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender loved one. During this process of self-exploration, you may want to focus on two questions:

What has my faith taught me to believe about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people?

What has my faith taught me about love and acceptance?

Gathering Information

Simply asking questions and exploring possibilities are important first steps for many. But this process can be both long and difficult, and you might find more questions than answers.

Kelly found: When my wife and I left the fundamentalist Christian church, I found that my belief system was pulled out from under me. With help from caring people, I tried not to panic, and accepted that this process would take time. I put all of my beliefs on a shelf and took them down one at a time. I learned it was OK not to have all of the answers.

Choices We've Made
Many people find that the process of learning more about their religion's position on sexual orientation is rewarding. It can bring about a deeper commitment to their congregation and to their family. Others, however, may be faced with difficult choices. If your religion is not accepting of your lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender family member or friend, can you comfortable stay? Can you consider leaving? What are your choices?

The Journey Continues
Commitment ceremonies and issues concerning children are just a few of the many religious rituals and situations that can become more complicated for lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people, and their family members and friends. While these circumstances may require increased creativity on the parts of all involved, they can also bring unexpected joy as new traditions are created. For instance, although many people believe that gay people do not want to have children, Kim found otherwise: Both families--including the grandparents--flew to California for the birth of my gay brother-in-law's son, and spent an extended amount of time together. At a family celebration the child was formally named, christened in his father's African, Methodist, Episcopal faith and welcomed in his mother's Yoruba religion. Without knowing the circumstances surrounding the birth of the baby, the high priest prophesied that one of little Khari's key roles in life would be to bring families together!

You may purchase this booklet at PFLAG National