1. We support you
2. Parent Booklet from PFLAG National
3. Youth Stats GLSEN
4. New Study by Canadian researchers
5. "Just the Facts" from the American Psychological Association
6. The Basics PFLAG National

For Parents

PFLAG was started by a parent. She formed a small New York City group where parents could meet and talk and know they were not alone. A safe and nonjudgmental place where they could begin to understand that nothing was wrong with their kids. (Jeanne Manford's story)

PFLAG supports our Parents:
We provide a safe, friendly place where, in small groups, parents can voice their concerns about homosexuality. Similarly,gay people can speak of their efforts and experiences in seeking parental understanding and acceptance.

PFLAG San Diego offers resources:
books, video's and booklets of information at our meetings. And it has an extensive list of links on its Resource Page.

PFLAG San Diego speaks:
at high schools, colleges, city committees, city/county employees, and any other place that wishes to hear our message of love, respect and dignity.

PFLAG San Diego offers scholarships:
to gay youth from San Diego heading toward college.

PFLAG San Diego participates:
in protest marches, political issues, and gay community events and more.

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Questions and Answers for Parents of Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People

Booklet - "Our Daughters & Sons" - excerpts

What do you do when you first find out that your child is gay, lesbian or bisexual? If you're like many parents, your first reaction is "How will I ever handle this?" Most parents aren't prepared for the words, "Mom, Dad. I'm gay."

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) is here for you. We hope this booklet will help you understand your child's sexuality and its meaning to you and your continued relationship with your son or daughter.

Our members consist of parents, families and friends of gay, lesbian and bisexual people. We most likely have been through much of what you are now feeling. We understand. We can tell you with absolute certainty that you're not alone. According to some statistics, one in every ten people in this country and around the world is gay. Therefore, approximately one in four families has an immediate family member who is gay, lesbian or bisexual, and most families have at least one gay, lesbian or bisexual member in their extended family circle. That means that there are plenty of people out there you can talk to.

We can tell you from experience that talking about it really helps. There are books to read, telephone helplines to call and people to meet who, by sharing their own experiences, can help you move forward. And PFLAG can connect you with the information and support services you need. While it may feel as if you have lost your child, you haven't. Your child is the same person he or she was yesterday.

The second thing we can tell you is that - if you wish - you will emerge from this period with a stronger, closer relationship with your child than you have ever had before. That's been the case for all of us. But the path to that point is often not easy. Some parents were able to take the news in stride. But many of us went through something similar to a grieving process with all the accompanying shock, denial, anger, guilt and sense of loss. So if those are the feelings with which you're dealing, they're understandable given our society's attitudes towards gays, lesbians and bisexuals. Don't condemn yourself for the emotions you feel. But, since you love your child, you owe it to him or her - and to yourself - to move toward acceptance, understanding and support.

While it may feel as if you have lost your child, you haven't. Your child is the same person he or she was yesterday. The only thing you have lost is your own image of that child and the understanding you thought you had. That loss can be very difficult, but that image can, happily, be replaced with a new and clearer understanding of your child. If your child is young, coming to an understanding with him or her may be crucial. Gay, lesbian and bisexual youth who are shut out by their parents have a comparatively high incidence of suicide and drug and alcohol abuse. Some teens protect themselves by putting as much distance between themselves and their parents as possible. If your son or daughter "came out" to you voluntarily, you're probably more than halfway there already. Your child's decision to be open and honest with you about something many in our society discourage took a tremendous amount of courage. And it shows an equally tremendous amount of love, trust and commitment to their relationship with you. Now it's up to you to match your child's courage, commitment, trust and love with your own.

Is my child different now?
(Please click on "Daughters & Sons" for the rest of this message).

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